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The Power Of Parental Love
The most important single ingredient in raising happy and successful children is the amount of love they receive from their parents. Children need love like flowers need sunshine and rain. You can never give a child too much love. The continuous flow of love and approval from a parent to a child is the child?s psychological lifeline to emotional and physical health. Almost all problems with children stem back to the child?s perception of not being fully loved and accepted by his or her parents. Lack of love whether it?s real or imagined by the child can have serious consequences. It can lead to physical, mental and emotional damage that can have long-term if not permanent negative consequences on the entire life of the child. In fact most child psychologists and therapists agree that love deprivation is the most serious problem a child can suffer during his or her formative years. The starting point of raising happy and successful children is to give them a continuous unbroken flow of unconditional love and acceptance. A parent needs to always make it clear to his or her child that nothing the child does could ever cause him or her to love the child less than 100 percent. The most wonderful gift that a child can receive from a parent is the firm knowledge that the parent loves him or her totally no matter what he or she does and no matter what happens. This is why many child psychologists and therapists recommend that when you discipline your child always start off by telling the child how much you love him or her and then get into the disciplinary action. You need to make it very clear that you are unhappy with the child?s behavior but not with the child. It?s important that the child understands this completely. Your child is always asking you in one way or another, ?Do you love me? Sometimes a child will misbehave on purpose as a way of checking as to whether or not you really love him or her. The older and more mature children become the more subtle they are about how they ask the question, ?Do you love me?? However, the question is always the same. There are four simple ways that parents can effectively make their love known to their children: 1. You have to tell your children that you love them every day. You can never say ?I love you? to a child too often. Even if your child pretends that he or she doesn?t need to hear it, don?t believe it. Every time a child hears the words, ?I love you? from his or her parent the child feels more secure and free to be himself or herself. 2. Tell your children you love them with eye contact. Whenever you look at a child with loving eye contact you make the child feel wonderful about himself or herself. Studies show that from the age of 6 weeks children are fascinated by looking into the eyes of someone who is looking at them with warmth, love and affection. Try this with your children and you?ll be amazed at the impact that sustained, loving eye contact has when you give it to your children if they haven?t experienced it before. 3. Physical contact is an important and powerful way to tell your children that you love them. Hugging and kissing your children is the most wonderful way to convey to them through touch that you love and value them. Interestingly, studies have shown male and female infants are hugged about the same amount during their first year, but after that females receive much more hugging and kissing from parents than do boys. The studies show just how harmful this is; boys who receive little or no physical contact from their parents are more much more likely to grow-up feeling insecure, unloved, lacking in self-confidence, and are much more prone to aggressive behavior. On the other hand, boys who do receive a lot of hugging and kissing from their parents are much more likely to grow-up feeling stronger, more masculine and self-confident. 4. Focused attention is perhaps the most powerful way to tell a child that you love him or her. Focused attention is simply spending long stretches of unbroken time with your child. Children need an opportunity to talk with their parents, relate to them and just be with them while they?re growing-up. There is no better way to build a close and loving relationship with your child than to schedule long unbroken periods of time with your child during which you can just be together. Children need to communicate their thoughts and feelings to someone who is important to them, and a parent should be the most important person in their lives. If their parents don?t take the time to sit quietly and patiently and listen the child will begin to spend more and more time with his or her peer groups. The greatest influence that a person can exert in a teenager?s life is to be the primary source of love, support, respect and affection for the child. Children who don?t receive this love and support from their parents will tend to seek it elsewhere and the parent?s influence will diminish dramatically Perhaps the most important and enduring relationship you can ever enter into happens when you bring a child into this world. The impact of your parenting not only affects your children, but it can also affect your children?s children for generations. When you shower your children with a constant and continuous flow of love and affection you are having a positive influence for generations to come. Copyright?2007 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and success coaching programs . He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in career coach training . Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business , Finding Your Purpose In Life , and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook .

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